To apply to work at MERCENARY and it’s many subsidiaries, simply add firstname.lastname@example.org on Skype and he’ll add you to a special group chat where he shares his deepest thoughts.
Mercenaries get paid $10 per hour of meaningful effort. It doesn’t matter who they are, everyone gets paid the same amount. Contributing to the legacy of MERCENARY on a volunteer basis will be rewarded with extra good things happening in your life. If the skills that you contribute to the Mercenary Network are worth more than $10 per hour on the free market, then we will make up for it with quality of life improvements. Examples of this include: free food, us paying for your car (but we get to write “MERCENARY is my god” all over it), us paying your rent, sending attractive humans to your house to cook and clean and have sex with you, spiritual transcendence, and much more!
MERCENARY works on a flat management structure. That means everyone, including Matt, is equally powerful and equally responsible. The way to gain power and influence in the system is to earn respect through your actions. Please note that giving money directly to Matt is a valid way to earn respect.
# Of Candidates Applying To Work For Us
JOB TITLES @ MERCENARY
Recruits are just getting started. They are taking their first steps on an infinite journey through the cosmos. Be kind to them, and teach them the ways of this world. As soon as you make contact with anyone who works for MERCENARY, either paid or unpaid, then you can list that date as your starting date on your resume for working for MERCENARY.
Agents have delivered, either directly or indirectly, $10,000 of value to the Mercenary Network. Once you reach this level, you are allowed to use MERCENARY controlled infrastructure, such as hotels and data centers, to advance the causes of Humanity. Overuse of these resources is discouraged.
Executives have delivered, either directly or indirectly, $100,000 of value to the Mercenary Network. Once you reach this level, you become an official representative of MERCENARY in negotiating business deals with other companies. Propose a written agreement to the company, get their signature on it that they are cool with the terms and conditions, and send it to email@example.com for MERCENARY to review it. We usually respond within 5 business days, because we try to be very careful with written agreements that we sign. We have the right to veto any agreement. We will usually suggest changes and improvements to make it satisfactory. Rarely, we will find the agreement to be good enough to sign right away.
Commanders have delivered, either directly or indirectly, $1,000,000 of value to the Mercenary Network. Once you reach this level, you will be granted the ability to give commands to anyone you want through their dreams. You still have to align the commands with their self-interests, because few people are going to follow dream commands unless they’re getting something out of it. Persuasion is a key skill in this strange craft.
VIPs have delivered, either directly or indirectly, $100,000,000 of value to the Mercenary Network. Once you reach this level, you will be visited in your dreams by Matt and he will personally teach you how to peek into the upper dimensions of thought. You may also receive dreams from the future when your needs are the most dire they have ever been.
There are job titles that are higher than VIPs, though that information is not public knowledge because there tend to be negative consequences when people realize you’re so extraordinarily powerful. Once you reach these levels, we want you working purely in the shadows. We’ll craft an illusion of you being poor, so nobody tries to mess with you to acquire your wealth and power. You’ll find comparisons in your new situation to the ancient myth of Gods disguising themselves as poor travelers, many people will disrespect you because of their false assumptions. We want to change the paradigm so that EVERYONE is given proper respect. It also forces you to be humble, because pride is the killer of kings. You’d think that people would be too afraid to challenge someone like this, but Matt has found that most humans cannot comprehend such power and tend to react aggressively by instinct. Humans hate that which they cannot understand.